(Minister Well Newsletter, June 2018)
“If I don’t get help, I’m going to lose my mind, my family, and/or my ministry.” “But if I admit that I need help, I may lose my ministry and jeopardize my family’s well being.” This is a common mental battle for all leaders and especially for ministry leaders. Congregants look to ministry leaders to be healthy in all areas of their life at all times, even though the good pastor reminds us every week that we all are struggling to be in this world but not of this world. So, there is a second layer of angst among Christians that goes something like this “if you are struggling, then lack of faith is the real problem.” WHAT?!? I’ve spoken with many pastors, ministry volunteers, and strong Christians who are dealing with symptoms of depression or anxiety who have in no way lost their faith in Jesus as their Savior. In fact, their faith is the taut thread that is tethering them to a life of hope. So, please do not ever suggest to a struggling Christian that in addition to their depressive or anxious symptoms, they are also a bad Christian with subpar faith. And, dear pastor, do not allow yourself to listen to that sabotaging message either. God knows we have anxiety, depression, anger, lust, greed, selfishness, and all the rest. I believe that is why He talks so much about all of this in His word. But nowhere does he say that we will lose our salvation or His steadfast love when we experience unwanted emotions.
In this newsletter edition let’s consider the notion of seeking professional mental healthcare for oneself. Please consider how the following might apply to you or your own family members.
Mind
Although our body is what will physically take us to the counselor’s office, it is our mind that motivates us to set up the appointment. Some of the harmful thought hurdles that you may hear or may need to overcome in order to seek professional care yourself include:
-“Seeking care is a sign of weakness.” – Throughout scripture we see people seeking care from one another physically, mentally, and spiritually. God created us in His image. Just as the Trinity is necessarily relational, we Christians need one another.
-“God cannot use me anymore.” – You have a responsibility to care for God’s temple (that is, yourself) and you have a calling from Him on your life. You must do the first, in order to fulfill the second.
-“People will think less of me.” – What better way to demonstrate the freedom and strength we have in Christ than to put 2 Corinthians 12:10 on display. “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
-“I’m just not praying hard enough.” – Perhaps a professional Christian counselor is the answer to prayer that God is providing. Consider it this way, she can pray with you as well as help through means of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral change.
-“My problems are not serious enough for counseling” – That sounds a lot like saying one’s prayers aren’t big enough to bother God with. God says the details of our lives are important to Him and He wants us to bring everything to Him in prayer. God is telling us to reach out before things get out of hand. So often this is the same for people seeking professional counseling, they wait too long and it is harder to regain health.
Body
High blood pressure, gastrointestinal problems, and difficulty concentrating associated with prolonged stress. Lethargy, weight changes, and sleep changes are symptoms of depression. And, the immune system is impaired when a person is suffering from mental burnout. The examples can go on and on of what we all know and experience – your body is affected by your mind. The opposite also holds true – your mind is affected by your body. For example, irritability/anger increase when we are suffering from physical pain, just as we are more vulnerable to depression when suffering from a chronic illness. People tend to be more aware of either their physical symptoms (i.e., bodies) or their mental/emotional symptoms (i.e., thoughts and feelings). Which is it for you? Do you notice that you are quicker to notice the daily headache or the stress? Do you snap at your family or realize that you are anxious about work first? Do you slip into drinking more than usual or are you conscious of your increasing depressed thinking and emotion?
Let me give you a few warning signs from the body that we should not ignore, and that very well may warrant the attention of a counselor in addition to the care of a physician. If your sleeping too much or too little on a daily basis (i.e., less than 6 or more than 10 hours), if you are eating too much or too little (i.e., have you had a significant weight change in the past few months without meaning to), or if your drinking, smoking, or drug use (even prescription medications) has changed, then take these are signals to seek help. Furthermore, if you are isolating from friends and family, withdrawing from your spiritual nourishment (e.g., scripture, fellowship with other Christians, worship), or calling in sick to work so that you don’t have to “deal with it,” these are red flags that something deeper may be going on.
Spirit
Just as we have discussed cognitive, emotional, and behavioral warning signs of psychological distress, we can also find telltale signs of deeper problems in our spiritual life. For example, in times of great distress people will often say “I feel so far from God.” It is as if the psychological turmoil is creating a barrier to accessing spiritual nourishment. Do you remember when Jesus was tested by Satan and then ministered to by angels? Satan attacked when Jesus was “alone.” If you are choosing to be “alone” in your mental anguish – not bothering people or God – you are making yourself vulnerable to spiritual attacks. God’s word, though blessedly convicting at times, is His love letter to us. In dark times, it can be very tempting(very purposeful use of that word here) to see God as deserting, judging, and unloving. Remember, in His love for us, He did judge Christ, and as our perfect Father He promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us. He gave us life, not once but twice, and with that we have the ability, freedom, and the responsibility to reach out for help to live the life of abundance that He gives us.
Challenge
-Care for your mind, body, and spirit as God has entrusted them to your care and He has called you mind, body, and spirit to His good purpose.
-Contact a professional Christian counselor to walk through difficult periods with you as a Brother/Sister and as a knowledgeable healthcare provider.
-If you need immediate assistance in Broward County, Florida please call 2-1-1. National crisis support phone numbers include 1-800-SUICIDE and 1-800-237-TALK.
Wishing you good health – mind, body, and spirit.
In Him,
Heather Clark, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist, PY 7620
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