(Minister Well Newsletter, February 2018)
The flu epidemic is sweeping our nation. As it affects us in our own lives, we hobble on dutifully with our responsibilities in our homes and jobs. But have you ever stopped to wonder to whom or what are we being “dutiful”? Scripture says “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up” (James 4:10). Clearly, God is encouraging that we be honest with Him and ourselves by acknowledging our weaknesses (whether they be sins of pride masked as “duty” or any other sin). Last month, as I joined the battle-weary flu sufferers, I was struck by just how hard it can be to humble oneself first in order to then be lifted up.
As Paul Harvey would say here’s “the rest of the story” about my very public “Out Sick” newsletter last month. The responses were all supportive, but quite varied from well-wishes and offerings of prayer, to my mom and her best friend offering to drive 3 hours to take care of me, to expressions of gratitude for a public willingness to “be human,” to confessions of “I’m exhausted too but I don’t know how to step away.” What I learned again, and as is so often the case in ministry, if people know their shepherds are hurting they will reverse the roles and care for the shepherd. So why is it so hard to admit when we are hurting? God gives us permission, people will come to our aid, but still something gets in the way – for me it’s pride, can anyone relate? The “rest of the story” to last month’s newsletter is this. I told my husband I felt too bad to write a full newsletter and I knew it was an opportunity to publicly practice what I preach about self-care. So, I wrote a nearly full-length newsletter about… not writing a newsletter! I read to him and he laughed at the ridiculousness of my actions. The thinking was something akin to this – I’m too sick to write, so I’ll write about that. With his encouragement (note I had to humble myself first), I wrote the brief “Out Sick” newsletter that you received last month.
What follows are excerpts from that first draft from last month. But what has been added to the self-care piece is the lesson I had to relearn about pride as an obstacle to self-care. Believe me, it would be far more comfortable for me to just preach about self-care, but I believe I am not alone in needing to confess and lay at the foot of the cross that my own pride is what often prevents the self-care.
Mind
When it comes down to it what we really wrestle with in our humanness is “am I loved” and “am I competent.” If I don’t perform to the standards that I have set for myself what does that say about me to others, to myself, even to God? And yet, God the Father and Christ the Son demonstrated the need for rest. In fact, we are told to follow this example and to care for the temple of God – our bodies. God seems to trust us to be good stewards of the lives and resources He has given us (e.g., health, time, family, abilities). That requires careful discernment, rather than either extreme of laziness or pushing to exhaustion.
Body
I’ve had the privilege of working with many chronic pain sufferers. In order to maintain any semblance of normalcy, they must learn to push on in the face of pain. Even still, a healthy lesson to learn is that of pacing. Pacing in this regard means pacing one’s activity level with a healthy knowledge of one’s own limitations as well as a desire to maintain health and activity beyond just this moment. Pain medications can limit someone’s pain in the moment which is good, but it can also mislead them into pushing harder than they should and suffering more later. So how well are you doing at pacing? Do you find that you routinely forego good pacing to get the job done in the moment, with no consideration for how you will muster the energy to get the job done tomorrow, or next week, or years from now?
Spirit
Although Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God” – is more about our psychological and spiritual stillness than our physical stillness, could you improve in trusting God by physically resting as He modeled for us? In order to see our God more vividly we must trust that He is in control if we let go of the wheel (à la Jesus Take the Wheel, Carrie Underwood). At the same time, we want to “press on” as Paul encouraged in Philippians 3:14. Therefore, we see that He tells us to rest and He tells us to strain forward. Let us challenge one another not to let our pride get in the way of trusting God when we rest.
Challenge
- Trust Him enough to rest.
Wishing you good health – mind, body, and spirit.
In Him,
Heather Clark, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist, PY 7620
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