(Minister Well Newsletter, March 2018)
I heard of a church where people worshipped and studied together, ate together, were in each other’s homes, pooled their resources for the collective good, prayed together, considered the church to be their gathering point (i.e., hangout spot), and were on fire for Christ. They were sold out for the gospel. And they eagerly and relentlessly loved their neighbors. Of course the church model I’m referring to is the early church depicted in Acts. Although our individual churches often make similar efforts in loving God and loving others, but I wonder if in our programming we are underappreciating simple opportunities to be a connected community.
I teach my seminary students about the ideal characteristics of counselors. Frankly, these characteristics are often more aspirational in nature than they are objectively measurable skills. In fact the description of a counselor is rather daunting for any one person to try to live up to. But, rather than going on to tell the students how to refer to an individual counselor, I issue a call to action to all of us as members of our congregations to come together around hurting and broken people (aka, each other). A call that as a collective we recognize and rise to our daily opportunities to provide the support, encouragement, acceptance, and love that a single counselor cannot manufacture on his or her own. Many of the problems that people seek counseling for are conditions of discouragement or every day difficulties of living. And although a professional counselor may also be needed, there is great power and nurturing that can only be found in community. So, my question to you today is how can you and your church band together to care for the daily wellbeing of each other? In the words of Dr. Seuss,
“Unless someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
It’s not.” ~ Dr. Seuss
Mind
In this digital age, it is crucial for ministry leaders to realize that people do not need to leave their houses to hear wonderful sermons and bible teachings. But people do leave their homes in search of the community they can find in church; both for pouring into and being filled up by that community. What we need is a paradigm shift from our American individualism to the early church’s collectivism. And if we follow the early church example, we will be secure and excited about who we are in Christ such that we are free to love one another, to accept one another, to encourage one another, to be vulnerable with one another… even just to be mindful of one another. A lady with social anxiety quietly attended the same church’s Sunday service for nearly 30+ years when one day someone engaged her in pleasantries at the end of the service. She was surprised and moved by the fellowship. It had never occurred to her that church was a place to develop relationships. Imagine how powerful the church could have been to her wellbeing if they demonstrated the second of the greatest commands – love others as yourself. We are to be interdependent on one another in as much as it is healthy, God honoring, and within our abilities. I know I could certainly practice this perspective more, could you? How about your church as a whole?
Body
A call to action requires movement! My students and I often brainstorm the ways in which this call can be answered as the hands and feet of Christ. We can establish small/community groups, visitation (by members too), mentoring programs (pre-marital, newly married, parents, teens, businesspeople), Titus 2 partnerships, groups of common interest (e.g., hobbies, sports, arts), meal ministries, times of prayer, youth group, children’s ministry, nursery and parents’ night out events, pastoral care, ethics committee, and para-church groups (e.g., Grief Share, MOPS, Celebrate Recovery). What do or would you add to this list? A nursery coordinator used her position in a very special way to minister to families, in addition to coordinating a team of volunteers and caring for the littlest church members. She checked in with the nursery volunteers regarding their week, and would often call in a backup if she knew that the scheduled volunteer (generally a mom of one of the nursery babies) needed to take in the worship service, be with her friends and family in the sanctuary, or have a brief break from mom duties. What a gift! In that same vein, a woman who enthusiastically greeted my family at the door every Sunday was the face of our church when my parents visited from out-of-town. She learned their names and made them feel welcome before they even entered the building. It was this same woman who greeted my mom with a warm and understanding hug the first time Mom came to our church after dad passed away. Church is a place to learn the gospel and to see it on display through the people, especially in the “little things.”
Spirit
Suppose we actually took to heart what God says about people (including ourselves). “There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work” (I Corinthians 12:5-6, read 12:1-11 for even more on this topic). Some people’s talents are a bit more visible or accessed by more people, but everyone has God-given gifts. Do not underappreciate the guy who flips the burgers at the church cookout, the woman who spends hours with every detail of decoration for the women’s event, or the child who shakes hands with someone during the meet-and-greet moment of service. The show Dirty Jobs showcased people who did the dirty work behind the scenes of life to make society more pleasant for all of us. There are a lot of “dirty jobs” behind the scenes in loving a community of people. Thank God for the opportunity to be one of those laborers and to be loved by those laborers. Fellowship is Faith in Action! We must put our faith in God (love God) in order to put our faith in action (love others)
Challenge
– How can you and your church band together to care for the daily wellbeing of each other?
Wishing you good health – mind, body, and spirit.
In Him,
Heather Clark, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist, PY 7620
P.S. This month the focus is on the church community bearing one another’s burdens and encouraging one another. Future articles will address the role and need for professional counseling for ministry leaders, staff, and congregants.
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